In the following months , I began drinking secretly. Repeatedly I would sneak down to the cellar at night and help myself to my father's wine barrel. The following summer, when I worked at a local inn, this only encouraged my alcohol consumption even more.
At the age of 14, I started an apprenticeship and attended vocational school. After classes, I would always buy a liter of wine at the kiosk and drink it on the street.
At fifteen, the heavy drinking really started. Hardly a weekend went by when I wasn’t drunk. I drank because I wanted to fit in and wash away my problems. The more I drank, the better I felt. My feelings of inferiority, fear of failure, and difficulty connecting with others seemed to disappear.
My advice to you: If you have problems or fears, don’t try to drown them — talk to someone about them instead!
Over time, I started drinking liters of alcohol every day — first wine and beer, then later hard liquor — even at work. I became a regular in bars and was widely known as someone who was constantly drunk. I stored alcohol in several hiding places so I’d always have a supply for the evenings and weekends.
At that time, I was also training at the gym and tried to follow in the footsteps of bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger. While others drank water during and after training, I poured alcohol into myself — something that seriously damaged my health. I even made bets with friends that I could drink a liter of wine while riding the elevator up three floors. Of course, I won.
Back then, I was proud of it. Today, I’m ashamed.
Later, I almost always mixed alcohol, drugs, and medications into a cocktail and consumed them to increase their effects. I even once drank 98-percent pure alcohol, which nearly tore my stomach apart.
Overall, during my "alcohol career," I certainly drank several thousand liters of beer, wine, and spirits. The fact that I’m still alive today is truly a miracle.
Consequences of my addiction